Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize