i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
