this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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