is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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