You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
