We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
