great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
