He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
