Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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