Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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