i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
