im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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