It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
