Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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