Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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