'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
