How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
