the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You need a sexual gate keeper
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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