I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
