I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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