the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
