this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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