connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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