Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
