Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
