you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize