I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
