it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
