well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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