Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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