Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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