Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
