i need an iv and a liver transplant
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
