My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize