so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
where does the pee come out of this thing
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
