I CAN MOONWALK!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
meet me or not, i'm out of control
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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