Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
