I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
