i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
