i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize