i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
