Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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