i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
