The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Green mimosas i think yes
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i out mim tonsoeep
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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