I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My breasts were aching with rage.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
