the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
