OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
