i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
MIDGETS
????
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
