Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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