i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize