everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
