I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
