BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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