Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize