I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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