Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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