im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
