the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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