Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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