i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
