Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
