I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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