Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
