he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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