How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
